seeing the light lols! ♥

I believe that a woman should view
make-up as a powerful tool
that can be used to enhance her best features,
give her confidence in the way she looks
and let her inner beauty shine♥
i've just finished school and i'm home now(:
and i am soo looking forward to spending the evening

with gossip girl, pretty little liars and the mentalist!

and i'll try fitting those assignments in haha(;

i woke up this morning and the zit that was sporting on my face

had decided to plant itself there, but EVEN BIGGER!

so i popped it and it was soo painful! T^T

and now it's going to scar for a long longg timeee~! *cries*

on the way home from school today,

i had like, some massive train of thought

where i decided to take on another perspective,

and it was kind of like, "seeing the light" haha

or "every cloud has a silver lining" or whatever ;D

like, my mum used to always force us to shower before dinner

every single bloody day after school, and even on weekends!

and i remember getting all angry cos i wanted to eat before bathing haha

and only now do i realise.. maybe she was just trying to teach us discipline?

or teaching us to discipline ourselves and have some order lol

and she did used to always say eating before showering makes you fat xD

or maybe it was just a thing she had lols who knows!

hmm.. next, my boyfriend.

my boyfriend and i had had a rough year

and we'd decided to really "work things out" -

so like, no more silly little arguments etc,

because arguments is one of our big things.

whenever we argued, even though he'd never say it,

actually.. i think most of the time, i start the arguments ==

even over the littlest things (maybeeee)

and when we argued recently, i remember him saying,

he thought this year would be different

(no more arguing and bickering etc)

and it made me think..

(okay this adds onto my thought)

considering everyone's saying 2012 is the end of the world,

say it is, then i don't wanna spend 2011 on a loose rollercoaster again,

and say it isn't, then i don't wanna be like that with him forever.

because if you love someone, you'd wanna see them smile;

you'd wanna be happy with them :)

sooo.. i guess i really am sorry.

and i can actually see some changes,

like, tum faan gnor and all ^^

but i don't ever want him to change completely,

and i hate seeing him unhappy.

so i think, less drama would be good haha(;

and well, this next topic is kind of touchy for me.

i'm actually really insecure (you may have already picked that up)

and although i don't show it, i've come to realise,

the more make-up you wear, the more insecure you are.

i wear a reasonable amount, but my boyfriend thinks i wear a lot.

i asked him to rate me yesterday hahaha

and he said i was an 8 or 9 with and without make-up

which kind of felt like he'd smashed a brick in my face.

because usually your boyfriend would be like "you're a 10 bla bla you're perfect"

haha but i guess my boyfriend's honest.

but then i thought "i'm nowhere near as pretty as the girl

he once rated a 9" - and he did say he never usually rated girls 9s,

so she really was good looking.

so that thought kind of felt like he'd stabbed my heart with a fork haha.

but today, i thought, i know i said i'd do this,

as it was one of my new years resolutions of 2011,

but i really am going to try to love myself more.

to try and look at the parts i hate, as something i should love

(if that even made any sense)

i know it's hard, because weight and appearance means a lot to girls,

but comparing and measuring myself to other girls

won't ever change who i am, and how i look like,

so i'll try and stop.

because my family loves me for who i am,

and for whom i've become (hopefully!)

and my parents watched me grow up :)

so there's no reason for me to change after all.

♥