Friday 30 April 2010

kiss me and never let me go ♥

didn't go to school today, went to hatfield instead.
so the 'usual' routine when it comes to bunking -
kit's in the morning, take him to school, and then train (:

OH MY FXCKING GOD.
tim's mum decided to bring home a huge painting
of the goddess of mercy, and stand it at the top of the stairs,
which is like, the first thing you see when you open
the front door and turn on the bloody light.

and then i kept hearing sounds and tim just slept!
but then we found out martin came back -
but it was still scary, i actually almost cried!
we finally left and i'm actually scared to come back lol.

was supposed to link omar but everyone like, disappeared.
it started raining too! thank god i was taking the train.
came up to norfolk and did some UNPAID work -
i'm so nice.

i really should continue revising maths,
or start revising the other subjects, diewww!

and i miss you already♥


Thursday 29 April 2010

tummy hurts so much :(

today i sat through two hours of continuous maths
and then another two hours of economics
with new teachers that might join our school.

spoke to anastaciya today about the bb and stuff.
and she was saying how she didn't really know
what was going on and why people were blanking me,
but when she found out, she just said plainly,
she didn't know me well enough to judge me,
and what i'd done had nothing to do with her.

it makes me smile when i realise that actually,
i still have friends at marylebone, and people
that are worth keeping means you're lucky, wml (:

saw tim today after school and you would never believe it,
he was actually early - by like, half an hour lol!
there was this white sports car outside school,
and when i came out, i thought it was him (lol!)

went to eat at misato chicken udon! mmm♥
tim had a tempura one, and sean got something big.
my tummy was still hurting -
and i'm still wondering if it's the pringles!
so painful! :(

stayed out till late today,
was in gamezone for a while - again,
with kit, tommy, sean and tim.
went to troc after, and kit and tommy left.
then to tim's house for a while,
and listened to sean and shiok's love story!

then headed out to finchley -
not before hunting down the Company magazine
'cause taylor momsen was on the front coverrrr! ♥
ate a bit of kebab, but my tummy still hurt :(

went home eventually 'cause dad just kept calling,
using the excuse of needing me to check an email!

please stop hurting tummy,
it does get too painful.

my udon!

tim's udon!

the fried chicken thingys!



the cutest things everrr!
it's just like in the ramen in naruto!

Wednesday 28 April 2010

你真的很無聊!

有很多次,我真的很想你給我看你對我的愛。
每天早上,我希望我會看到你的車
因為你是來帶我走。
很像有一個白馬王子救公主。。
很浪漫,不是嗎?
但是它也不可能發生。
我的夢想不會成真。

當我對你生氣,我會希望看到你的車outside my school。
可能因為當我們argue, 你不會追我回來,
你會等我自己回來。

我不知道呀~
:(

revision notes on your leg ♥

a psychology mock and two chemistry practicals!
psychology mock was alright i guess,
and in mr james' practical, i got 11 out of 14 -
which isn't too bad considering that's the only
experiment i've done in that block lol! xD
will get the results from o'malley soon.

soeng ha and i are going to audition
for st marylebone's 15th world culture day!
my god it's gonna be such a fail.

went over to kit's after i showered,
was feeling a little icky, iunno.

my stupid unlimited texts have ran out.
and i don't even feel like blogging :(

Tuesday 27 April 2010

best of luck step (:

One day you’ll come back to me,
I just won’t be here anymore.
stephen's going to start dating again i think,
and i hope so for him too (:
it's his first love - when he was like, 16!
and to be honest, he deserves the chance
to be able to love again after everything before.

thing is, they had a relationship when they were young,
and they broke up because it didn't work out.
a few years later, they tried again and she broke up
with stephen again because she wasn't bothered.
and now, like, eight years later, i think
they're going to try again.

but she hasn't responded to stephen
about him asking her out on a date,
so stephen's made it clear,
that if she doesn't answer -
which is actually quite rude,
then he'll leave it.

but she better not coming running back
saying how she actually really likes him.
because "he'll go ballistic" lols!

best of luck step (:

everyone deserves a chance to love.
even those who have done bad things before,
and don't seem to deserve it at all.
and even those who may appear tough,
because everyone needs love.

just like, i need you.
 ♥

Monday 26 April 2010

i hate mondays.

fail to prepare,
prepare to fail, mayte.
actually gonna physically make the effort
to drag myself into school everyday
until the last day of school - before study leave!
- it actually sounds almost too ambitious, lol!

why does my thirteen year old sister,
hear but not listen?
oh wait, it's different when it comes
to her precious fifteen year old boyfriend.

roll deep feat. jodie connor - good times,
is actually fxcking amazing!

got so much maths to do,
it's not even funny anymore :(

apparently my attendance for chemistry is 44%
and my overall attendance is 59% - LOL!
okay, looks like i have to pick it up!

spoke to ayman, and told him what i
actually thought about him talking to me,
and how i was suspicious because
he's friends with my ex.

ayman came to my school ages ago,
and he asked me to go to his school
during my study leave - which is fine,
but then i got all icky 'cause it's near chris?
or something like that, i'm not even sure lol.

zak's gonna help me with maths -
and he'll probably end up helping me with economics.
jasey's gonna help me with chemistry.
ayman's helping me with chinese.
psychology is mine! ♥

can't wait for the summerrrrr.
it's going to be amazing.
i just know it.

Sunday 25 April 2010

da-la-ma-TONG. ♥

got to london quite early today!
'cause karman didn't go out and instead,
she decided to go to wing yip with mum and joey.
met tim at his house because he was being lazy,
and i guess he was super tired too!

was planning to go to the docklands,
but didn't go again la..
this is going to turn into the 3-month long wait
for the photobooth pictures!

tidied up tim's desks -
at least that's one less thing for
his mum to nag at him about lor.
he slept and then we went to misato!

omg! omg! the plates are huge!
i'll get the photos off tim later.
was so full after like, half! lol!
went back to get cigarettes,
and found out martin had thrown away
tim's medicine which took his mum
2 hours to cook and it was from malaysia -
uh oh.

she actually went crazy, lol.
tim was trying to turn the situation around
with his silly "da-la-ma-tong"
which just made us laugh ;D

went back out for a walk to covent garden,
and not long after, we met sean and kit.
played pool in gamezone and went home -
after i completely killed tim at pool! yayy!
- okay, he was going easy on me, but
the last three shots were perfect so, shh.

felt so dizzy and ill.
took the tube at piccadilly but there was no bakerloo!
got off at leicester square (lol, one stop!)
and took the 453! and i threw up, eww :(
still feel kinda dizzy now,
gonna procrastinate and then sleep!
this is how friday nights should be!

Saturday 24 April 2010

our first photobooth pics! ♥

today, i went to kit's house in the morning,
dropped him off at school and met up with tommy too!
headed back to kit's area to wait for tim.
he parked in front of me and walked to sit next to me
and i didn't even notice until he sat down omg!
i had my head down writing ma :)

ate at mcds in the plaza, omg!
they don't do mcds breakfast there!
walked down carnaby street
talking about chincillas lol!
i think we're going to get one!

went back to chinatown to take photobooth pics!
yayy! the long-awaited photos were finally taken! :D
went to tim's house to wait for kit and the rest to come out.
ate at wong kei! haven't been there in foreverrr.

kit, tommy and jasey came out,
and we played pool in gamezone for a bit.
tim had to go back because of family stuff,
and we went to the karaoke -
which was quite fun i guess :)
and the drinks were weak! lol!

i got annoyed at tim 'cause of the way he acted
when 'hack-mui' came in.. alloow.
later on the night i walked off,
and he came after me, hehe.
thinking about it makes me smile.

i was outside troc, and he ran and hugged me
from behind with a rose in his hand!
i love you.

bumped into yobi with another guy.
went back to karaoke and OMGG!
that guy stood on my rose stalk!
i dont' care if he's a triad or whatever,
HE SHOULD'VE APOLOGISED!

got back at aunt's at 11pm,
and mum didn't get there until 11:45pm anyway!
it was a good night after all :)
night everybody!

i would never leave you,
or run away from you.
i love you.



Thursday 22 April 2010

that's why god brought me you :)

it's true, i do.

a 1st for everything. hangover? NO.

tim made me a card for our 100 days! ♥

allooow.. we didn't watch dear john today,
nor did we eat at bella italia.. nor did we take
photobooth pictures - again. diew man.

tim picked me up with morgan, bana and omar =="
AND, we spent like all morning at rajiv's.
and THEN we bumped into joan who invited us
to a bbq in the uni and obviously tim wanted to go.
and he said i was the one not wanting to
spend the day with just the two of us!
pissed me off.

tim taught me some drinking game - blackjack?
god knows how many shots and i was out lol.
it was disgusting.

never drinking again, unless it's an occasion.
birthdays, new years and graduations are included!
whiskey and vodka have officially killed
my appetite for a drink.

i have never felt so hung over in my life before.
woke up at like 1am last night having slept at 10pm,
and i was super super thirsty omg!
drank like a whole bucket.
and i hate the after-taste of alcohol
in my mouth and the dry throat, eww.

woke up for school and i was so dizzy!
it wasn't even a joke anymore.
my head was actually killing lol.
it died down throughout the day,
but when it did, i felt super tired.

couldn't even stand up to go to the loo during study,
my god. was holding onto anything and everything near me.

mclennan took "my assignment" -
half an assignment that tim did.
and she just took it! my god.
did it quickly during study with zak,
thank the lord i got it down just on time!
gonna have to think up some excuse lol.

kit came to pick me up from school,
and went and jammed at his.
had a long and deeeep talk.
he's still "sut luun" about sabi lor~ :/

gonna go to tim's tomorrow -
told mum it's "duke of edinburgh" yeahh babyy.

today's lessons were so boring.
like MAJOR-OH-MY-FXCKING-GOD-BOREDOM.

Tuesday 20 April 2010

everything comes naturally ♥

didn't go into school today, went to hemel instead.
went to kit's in the morning and took him to school,
which was perfect timing 'cause i got to kings cross
at like 9:30am which is enough time for
buying my ticket and catching the train at 10:06am!

it's our one hundred days today, wooo!
went to galleria and we've decided,
that the mcds monopoly game is on!
we're playing against karman and gavin.
the loser-couple treats the winning couple
to cake at golden gate!

went to rajiv's and had kebab later on.
tim went back to give money to his mum -
who is kinda scary now.

we didn't end up taking photobooth photos again! :(
but we're taking them tomorrow!
it's our date wooo! we're watching dear john,
and then we're eating at bella italia,
and then the long-awaited photobooth pics!
can't wait!

happy one hundred days ♥

happy one hundred days low gong BB~!
these past one hundred days..
i have never laughed and smiled so much,
since i'd met you three years ago.
i have never cried so much -
both from laughter and pain,
only, you have been the one to soothe me.

to be honest, this year started off crxp.
the only highlight was your confession -
yeah baby, your confession to mee!
not me confessing firsttttt ;D
well, technically i did. bleh, whatevs.

thank you, for everything.
stay with me.
because the only thing that keeps me going,
is the thought of us.

Monday 19 April 2010

when i say i love you, i do. ♥

when i say no, i actually mean yes.
when i tell you to go away, i want you to wrap me in your arms.
when i say i'm going on a diet, i want you to say,
"you're not fat. i like you the way you are."
when i get angry at you and i say things, i don't mean them.

when i talk about other guy friends,
i don't mean anything more than friendship with them.
when i go quiet and cut you short on the phone,
i want you to say, "no hold on.. i love you."
when i pull away from your hug, i want you to hold tighter.

when i hit you, i don't mean for it to hurt.
when i'm looking into space, i'm thinking.
when i don't say anything for a long time, something's up.
when i tell you things, everything is between you and me.

so when i tell you, that i just want to be in your arms,
i don't mean anything else.
there is no alternate hidden meaning.
i just want to be with you.
because with you, nothing matters anymore.

back to school, back to hell.

sorry for not blogging in so long!
i've been doing last minute revision which is useless!

back to school now and nothing's changed -
unfortunately for me, and fortunately for some people.
it feels good to see tasnia and roaa again :)

tasnia was saying how monika's starting to annoy her,
because she's starting to be really fake recently -
which is true, i'm not gonna lie.
but then again, monika's always been like that.

we had a picnic in regents park today!
chinese style with "siew yook" and duck and rice haha!
the children's park is under construction,
so we played some other games instead.
auntie and uncle wong came along too.

it's mine and tim's 100 days tomorrow woo!
photobooth photoboooooth!
we should've went at the beginning chuu~
and now we're like 3 months late!

if we take photobooth pictures,
can it replace the one in your drawer?

i really miss you.
i could be in a sea full of people,
and still feel so alone.

there was a trip to the bank of england today,
and i deliberately missed it 'cause my feet were killing,
and i just could not be bothered.
seeing as i'd brought all my books and folders too!
my shoulder really hurts now :(

and tim hasn't called me all day,
and sent me like, two texts - ooh, how generous.
okay i know you have your own life too,
but just one text from you between 8:30am and 3:30pm..
isn't a lot to ask for.. right? ><
and at least i'd have something to brighten my
shxtty school day surrounded by bxtches.

i hate mondays.
completely brings me down to earth
after a peaceful weekend.

i hate marylebone.
i can't wait to leave.
no maryleboners, no bxtchyness.
just, me and you.

Monday 12 April 2010

"best friends"? so childish..

i hate thinking that i don't actually have a best friend.
i don't actually have a best friend who i tell everything to.
i have a boyfriend who is my best friend too,
but i don't have that girl who is basically my other half
because you'd stay up every night on the phone
talking about things endlessly.

i don't have that best friend where someone can go,
"hey, you know wai man and so-and-so?"
and they'll be like "yeah those two are inseparable."

i've had so many friends in my life.
and there have been times when there was
that inseparable best friend thing going on.
but eventually, we'd grow apart.

and most of the time, the reason for why we grew apart
is because of something that i have done.
and actually.. i've come to realise, that
people do and will judge you.
even if they say they won't. even your best friend.

rachel?
we've known each other since we were babies.
we were close throughout secondary,
and you accepted that there have been times,
when i have rebelled and caused my mum grief.
and there have been times when i have ended up
with the wrong crowd, but you came along, hypocrite.
and all i had to do.. was tell you about what happened
last summer and that was enough to stop our
so-called friendship.

monika?
you were always closest to me since year 7.
and you stood by me, even when i was a moody bxtch.
but you understood me.
and all i had to do, was make a mistake in school,
that would cause everyone in school to shun me,
and you were out of the picture.

soeng ha?
why do you always have to let people take over your life?
why can't you make your own decisions for your own life?!
you really make me angry sometimes,
but i can't stay angry at you for long.
yet you can still hold grudges - even till now.
people make mistakes, things happen,
and they might not be things that i want to happen.
but at least i made my own choices,
and i chose to make my own mistakes.

jintana?
we were best friends in secondary,
but you're just so overpowering.
if we're best friends, i can have other friends too.
and why are you so manipulative?
how are you able, to basically hurt your brother
to the point where he can no longer stand up?
how can you watch yourself do that to him..
and, how are you able to push the blame onto someone else.
i don't know about you, but i had enough,
don't you think it's about time you did too?

kate?
you always get influenced by someone else, so easily.
i used to tell you everything, like actually,
everything.
but clearly that was a little too much info
for you to handle by yourself,
so we might as well let everyone else know right?
shut up.
you are in no place to tell me,
that the things i have done are unforgiveable.

rania?
ever since primary school,
you have always been disliked by everyone.
but because i thought i was your best friend,
i tried to keep it from you because i didn't want you hurt.
it's because you're so controlling.
let people have a say,
let people have an opinion.
ffs.

tasnia.
tasnia, i've known you since secondary,
and i tell you a lot and you have never judged me.
i think.. out of everyone in school,
i don't care if they don't talk to me anymore,
as long as we're still friends.
but there are always some things,
that i am too afraid to tell you..

roaa.
i met you this year, and you're amazing.
we talk, and we understand each other.
we cry, and we're there for each other.
we laugh, and we're there to see it happen.
but there are still times, when i know
you are doubting me secretly.
when everything happened at school,
even you were fixed on not speaking to me.
and you have to be convinced by ally.
i'm happy you understood in the end,
but there's always going to be that memory.

i'm just so angry at everyone right now.
and what i hate, is that the person i should be angry at,
is none other than myself.

why do i make the wrong choices all the time?!
i hate that i have done so many things in the past,
that actually, i might be starting to regret.
friends have come and go,
and the ones that have stayed, thank you.
but i feel like, all i have to do,
is make the wrong choice, or
follow the wrong person,
and we're over sooner or later.

at least i have you in my life.
please please please don't ever leave.