i hate being without you ♥

putting on a strong front is okay.

but breaking down when you can no longer take it,

is okay too.

it just means that you're human.

thinking about my future..

i guess i'm going to university,

but how do i know what i want to do?

and i don't want to be a million miles away from you.

nor do i want to be near people who

will nag at me 24/7 like i'm still a child.

argh, so clueless.

and i have to apply in september.

fxck me.

i would never break up with you, as a joke.

or even throw the "let's break up" line

when we're in an argument and i'm angry at you.

because i hate seeing you all clueless as to what to do,

but yesterday i really did get angry.

i hate that you think i'm someone who gossips

so much to the extent that i can't even tell

what i should and shouldn't be saying.

and when i say that i'm not going to tell someone,

you don't believe me and look at me as though

you are disappointed.

i'm a girl. that's not an excuse to gossip,

but i know i gossip because

i hate being the last to know something.

but i do realise, how much words can hurt.

i want you to trust me not to say things.

i want you know realise that it's just me.

and i do talk, but.. if you love me for the person i am,

then love me.

and actually.. it's not that bad that

you don't try and patch things up and "tum gnor"

everytime i appear to be angry,

'cause at least i won't get used to it..

like when you said you worry about me..

i was happy that you worried for me,

but i was scared.

i was scared that i'd rely on you.

and now.. i do.

and i hate it.

i think.. that the person who talks about others,

but avoids the subject of themselves,

is the person who has the most secrets,

that don't want to be discovered.

♥