Sunday 31 January 2010

contacts?

they give me headaches though!
contacts or glasses? mhm..



or

mami's shepherd's pie, sundays♥

- economics GDP article
- chemistry research homework
working on C1 paper now!

well, after my lovelyyy dinner!
homemade shepherd's pie and gravy, mmm♥

20 minutes later..
cleared! (;

things to do today!

things i need to do -
(preferably before the end of sunday!)
-  chemistry research homework
- rewrite answers for economics
- economics articles analysis
- psychology day care project
- psychology exam question
- economics GDP article
- maths C1 paper
- maths C2 questions
- james chemistry worksheet
- hk application forms
- fix the printer
- statistics questions
- pack my bags!
- clean my room, maybe shelves?

get to work!

(:

i wonder how many stories
are hiding behind just one smile.

argh! sdfkewmvprpghrjks

the beauty within,
is stronger than anything.
you know, it finally hit me.
there really is no point in sitting around,
and waiting to look amazing.
i mean, do something about it!

everyone's beautiful in their own way.
i may not have a flubber-less figure,
nor do i have hypnotic eyes.
but i guess i can work on it (;
argh, how is taylor momsen so pretty?!

bee-ay-yuu-tiful lay-dayyy.

people will forget what you said;
people will forget what you did.
but people will never forget
how you made them feel.

a beautiful sunday morning.
was planning to wake up and do some work.
only to realise i hadn't brought any textbooks,
or any books with me - nice one.

so now i'm just bumming around the house,
struggling to do ten sit ups in the morning,
but doing twenty in the evening?
quite amazing, i thought so too.

just looking at the C1 solomon paper,
without my book, i've come to realise,
that i don't actually know very much.

it makes me wonder what happened.
i never used to have to pick up a book,
nor did i have to revise for any exams.
i feel so lazy, as though i'm slacking
with no actual reason.
what a waste of time.

i could even revise the stupid theory test,
but i can't do it until a few years anyway,
so whats the point?

last night my chest really hurt again.
lately, the coughing fits are back,
and it feels like i'm being squashed.

had the strangest dream,
i went to the pharmacy to get an asthma pump.
ended up getting a red one and a blue one?
the blue one had a label saying,
"DEEP BREATH" or something,
and as i was walking back home,
everyone was staring at me.
and looking down to see i was
in my underwear.

please god, don't ever let that happen.

mum and karman are at it again.
god knows about what this time.

i wish i was skinny,
or as skinny as i was in the summer.
i wish i was less self-conscious.
i wish i was more confident.
well, if i was beautiful,
i wouldn't have to wish for these things.

cutest chain letterrrr ♥

If only everyone could see this and understand it.

When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she’s quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you
Give her your attention

When she pulls away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she’s beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don’t say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she’s scared
Protect her

When she steals your favorite hoodie
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn’t answer for a long time
Reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she says that she loves you
She really does more than you can understand

When she grabs at your hands
Hold her’s and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;
Bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
Keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
Don't look away until she does

When she says it’s over
She still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin
She wants you to read it

- Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything

- When she’s mad hug her tight and don’t let go

- When she says she’s ok don’t believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she’ll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Treat her like she’s all that matters to you

- Stay up all night with her when she’s sick

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it’s stupid

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes

- When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her

- Let her know she’s important.

- Don’t talk about other girls around her

- Kiss her in the pouring rain

- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:

“Whose ass am i kicking baby?”

Saturday 30 January 2010

me. me. me. me - and you. ♥

2004


2005



2006


2007

2008



2009

homigod.
only now, can i see how much i have changed.
but changing visually doesn't mean, i'm not me.
because i will always be me;
just as immature, just as gullible,
just as overly loud, just as crazy about you
as i have always been.

welcome to the fugg family! (:

six pairs of fuggs,
six people in the family (:
mama, baba, bibi, ah mui, joey and me!
baba doesn't wear fuggs (obv)
but, two pairs to me, two pairs for karman,
one for joey and one of mama,
and chantel has a pair too,
but i can't find it for the photo :(
i love you.

you poor thing :(

my ankle hasn't been hurting since a few months ago,
but as temperatures dropped and the snow piled in,
there have been so many times when it gave away :(
and it actually really hurts and keeps swelling, aiyahh~
physiotherapy is out of the window too -
wow wai man, you're a lot smarter than you thought.
get well soon "lefty" ^^

chocolate cake mmm♥




my tummy has been hurting since yesterday,
found out the reason why;
but lets not bring on the mood swings darlin'
but chocolate cake seems to bring a smile,
as well as my sun on a cold january morning,
wong bo teem (;

ice cream sandwiches are yum! ♥

and here i am procrastinating,
and finding every available reason
to not do my mountain of homework
from a gazillion crazy teachers
who weren't in this week or
won't be in next week cause of training.
allow my life.

ice ceam sandwiches with wafers
are super duper nice!
haven't had them in soo long;
made me feel like a kid again (:

my ankle was hurting this whole week
and thank god it doesn't anymore!
but now my couoghing fits are back,
and my chest feels like it's burning :(
i think i might have asthma - allow,
tim told me to buy an asthma pump
and i guess trying it out won't hurt.
but i don't want to be dependent on it!

cause everything i think of asthma,
it think of bull fighting lor~
i'm forgetful so if i rely on the pump,
and if i forget to bring it with me one day,
and i really needed it, it looks so painful.
cause although it's mainly night times i can't breathe,
lately it's been acting up worse so i'm worried.
mum said it'll go away in time,
but she said that about the ringing in my ear,
and it ended up being tinnitus omg.

mm ice cream!






Friday 29 January 2010

i wish people never grew up.

as i grow up, i've come to realise a lot of things.
like, as you grow older, there are less people
who are there to look out for you,
and you'll have to learn to look after yourself.
i've come to realise, people will change
and the people you thought would always be there
will eventually walk out on you.
diew, i don't give you permission
to be my best friend again.

good girls gone bad yeahh♥

started watching devil beside you again!
it's so cute, and it reminds me of him.
because i remember watching it years ago.
when i first spoke to him, and he was so horrible to me,
but i still really liked him and i always wondered,
if by any chance he might like me too haha.
and because he was always so mean to me,
it was like, he's the devil beside me - oh dear.

you know, thinking about it now,
he kind of is - it's crazy i know.
karman said i'm a good girl gone bad,
i think we all agree, i'm just a bad girl,
who doesn't get caught - cause i'm smartttt,
yeahh babyyy (; ♥
thank you god for making me smart! lols.

definitely going to stick to diet now.
and, i'm going to go and shower,
and wake up early tomorrow,
to do as much work as i can possibly do,
until i have to work in the evening again!

but i'm still kind of, actually, really pissed,
that the stupid dress didn't fit me.
yup, that diet is definitely coming back.
now i have to look for another one, gawd.
i don't even know why i want one.
you know, i think i might have bought that one,
for valentine's day, but then i thought,
if we're going to london zoo, NAHHH.

jeans and a tshirt is so much more comfortable -
but a girl's gotta do what she can to look good (;
it's actually so much effort.
and omg, i didn't wear make up this week -
i apologise for anyone who now needs glasses!

reduction please.

the asos dress came, woo!
i woo-ed too early actually.
it doesn't even zip over the stupid pair.
definitely considering reduction.
gave it to karman instead :(



no hangover? check!

just checked my school email today,
oh my krispy kremes.
sanghvi is on it boyyy.
he's not in for a week,
and he gives us more work than
we would do if he was in!

and i still have to re-do that stupid test.
someone, please kill me now.

miss hardy isn't in next week either,
and has given us some huge project homigod.
and le fanu is being a dxck with the exam revision.

chemistry is getting hard.
i got an E from the test last week, woo?
no mother fxcking woo idiot.
more like BOOO.

argh.

was so down today in chemistry.
and so was ally, so it was like,
the two loudest people in the class,
being depressed scientists doing flame tests,
on a friday 3:00pm, how delightful.
i said that to him, and he just laughed.
at least he smiled, made me smile (:

the guy that monika likes is working out well,
but apparently she's suspecting that he's a bit of a flirt.
i explained to her that everyone knows i am,
but everyone also knows that i don't cross the line,
because i have a loving boyfriend whom i love.
so at the end of the day, he can mess around
without pushing the line, and he's still yours.

found out that moni's "eye candy" in the year above,
is a total pervert and a half.
apparently he sits in the common room taking photos
of fit girls, and he watches porn during study -
how he gets past the filters, i have no fxcking clue.
and he grabbed this girl's bum as she walked past, omg!
fxcking pervert and a half.
should go eat shxt and die.

journey back to thetford today,
karman told me that chris is being a dxckhead,
and trying his best to burst their bubble; all like,
"i'm not helping you guys anymore."
and trying to get them caught out by his mum.
what a mother fxcking dickhead.
i'm not even going to bother censoring that.
he wasn't "helping" in the first place.
but karman told me not to get involved.
and thinking about it, he probably wants me to,
because he knows i'm easily angered,
and just by provoking me indirectly, i'll get angry,
and have no choice but to speak to him to threaten him.

apparently he thinks that as long as i'm angry,
he's still a part of my life. what the fxck?
how does he not know when to drop it?!
god i'm so pissed.

i have so much work to do!
le fanu psychology.
hardy psychology.
sanghvi economics.
grieb economics.
mclennan maths c2.
o'malley chemistry.
james chemistry.
o'malley statistics.
kill me now.

but getting to hear his voice soothes me (:
it makes me feel all warm and fluttery inside -
god i know, butterflies?! whatttt wai man!
just got some deja vu, going on, feels like i've told him,
but i don't want to ask just in case i haven't!
thank god i still have you in my crummy life.

Thursday 28 January 2010

blue tac ring♥

the things you do are things i dislike.
but because i am so in love with you,
i no longer take notice and i know,
that you do everything for a reason.

by choosing to be with you,
i took everything into consideration.
the losses, the gains, the risks and the fun!
i know what kind of person you are.
probably more than you think.
and you should know,
that as long as i love you,
i will have my own opinion,
but i will support you for everything.

and if you can promise me your 100% safety,
then i can promise you my 100% permission (:

at first, when you told me, i was kind of scared.
i just worry about you, a lot.
i can't help it and you know that.
but you also made it clear that if i wanted you to stop,
you would stop straight away.
that's when i knew, when you do the wildest things,
they fill me with excitement too - as much as i hate to admit it.
but you give me a thrill, an adventure that i've yet to explore.

i didn't learn to love you because you liked me,
i love you for the person you are,
and the person you will always be.
i love you,
always have, since three years ago,
and always will.

"engaged to be engaged."

supa lightweight.

sanghvi wasn't in today, thank the lord.
so i had a period free to go to bond street with ruhi and lija.
got some hoops cause i couldn't find my ones at home!

met up with tim after school and roaa saw too, woo!
she was like, "go get him" hahaha aww.
omg, i found out, her ex cheated on her!
even though she's gotten over it,
i feel angry for her!
but if she says drop it, then i'll drop it.

walked to tim's again, i'm getting fittt (lol)
in heels as well, yeah babyyy.
i haven't worn them in time,
and my ankle still kinda hurt -
tasnia said i probably sprained it again,
unfortunately.

bought mince from tescos
and trudged back with tim's computer haha.
was watching 500 days of summer,
and lets just say,
someone had a bit too much to drink,
like the tiniest bottle of coke and whatever else lol!
and er, stuff happened *blush*

tim's homemade spaghetti is even better
than mum's - and that means it's super amazing.
because mum's one is amazing enough!
well, it was officially better than spaghetti house (:
thank you for the lovely night!

Tuesday 26 January 2010

我想jow世界上第一味在你的心中。


"what's important is he loves you now."
shut up and get real.
你說你愛我多gor你愛gor她。
不過我找到一個myspace bulletin你以前post jor。
當她和你分jor手,我明白你好傷心,
因為我知道她是你個perfect low por。

她是聰明。。她真的是美麗的。
在你的世界上我沒有第一味
因為兩年前,她已經lor jor。

在你的心mook中,你是不是真的喜歡我ga?
我希望你有小小喜歡我。
because just like 三年前,我真的好愛你。
我不相信你愛我超過她。
if you read your bulletin, you would know。
我告訴我自己你在我身邊,
所以不要想太多。
but i can't help it。

我wish你never chose她。
我不想她美麗個我。
我不想她是你第一個愛的人
因為我喜歡你first ga。

why didn't you love me then you dxckhead。

但是我要面對事實。
and the truth hurts。



why did i even keep this?
and it's not even this, i have photos as well.
my god wai man, depress yourself why don't you.
我的心好tong.
我不想你看到我這樣。

weak at the knees♥


2 days and i'll be in your arms again..
in 48 hours, everything will be okay.
my tummy ache will be replaced with butterflies,
dizziness and happy thoughts will replace my headache,
and my eyes will shine again -
when i am with you.