time to heal, you bumfluff♥

i like you a lot more than you think.

i just don't know how to show it, sorry.

it may not seem like it, but actually,

i'm really scared.

i don't want to make the same mistake again.

i don't want to be the one who threw everything into us,

and in the end, i was the one who was crushed.

i know you're different to him,

but a part of me is still really afraid.

everytime you look into my eyes,

it's like i can see our future together,

but then it feels like there's a lump in my throat,

like there's something telling me,

it's going to be the same again.

i don't want to be left alone again.

i don't want to spend everyday crying,

and hoping for everything to be like before.

i don't want to be hurt again.

everytime we try something,

i can't help but think about everything before,

and it feels like i want to cry every time.

what is wrong with me ffs.

it only took one guy to break me,

and the same guy to hurt me in every way possible.

and it happened because i was blind and naive,

i don't want to be so blindly in love again,

to the point where it's my fault again.

after him, i played around, from guy to guy,

because i was insecure and i knew i could play.

i never got serious with anyone, and it's only until,

one guy got serious and i realised it wasn't that fun.

but it was strange because regardless

of the fact that i was playing around with everyone,

i could never bring myself to play with you.

everytime we spoke, i couldn't speak to you,

in the way i spoke to the other guys who didn't matter.

i didn't want you to be someone i lost

because of my stupid and immature behaviour.

i'm sorry for always being so apologetic.

i'm sorry for always being so scared.

i'm sorry for being such a crybaby.

i'm sorry for letting him get to me.

please, just stick around, give me time,

because i really want us to work.

i know you're reading this now and

i'll apologise a hundred times,

but now, just give me time.

♥