snowed again! absolutely freezing.

i was so out of it today.

tim called me last night when he was drunk.

he confessed his feelings again and this time,

he said everything he wanted and needed to say.

they were the longest 80 minutes ever.

during the whole conversation, all i could do,

was apologise and hope he would break the ice.

but he was showing me how much pain he felt and

how rejected he felt because i didn't love him

the way he loved me and the way he wanted me to.
i have never seen him so hurt before.

i have never seen him put so much effort into anything

in the whole three years i have known him.

i have never seen him love someone this much,

which makes it so difficult for me.

"i love you and your imperfections."

i really didn't know what to say.

he just kept swearing and cursing everything.

i felt so guilty, and he continuously asked me,

if i was sure i "truly" did not like him.

if he had asked me this a few weeks ago,

he would have gotten the answer he wanted.

i'm not giving him a "i hope we can still be friends"

or a "goodbye" because he deserves better than that.

"something's bothering you, tell me.

your smile isn't meeting your eyes."

ally said that to me today lol.

all i could think was, "well, my best friend told me he loves me,

i spoke to a guy who i don't usually speak to,

saying how i wanted to get a belly button piercing,

and he basically told me i was fat.

babes, i feels like shxt."

but why burden my friends with my troubles?

it's time i grew up and learned to handle my problems, myself.