Thursday 10 March 2011

fuck school, fuck everything.

oh yeah, i fucked up in my AS resits again.
i was so close to crying in front of the class,
but someone else did and she made me think,
god i'd look ridiculous if i cried.
so i didn't.. but i really wanted to.
i tried so fucking hard, and in the end,
it was a waste of fucking time and money.

this is all so stupid!
i hate school. fuck a levels.
fuck university and having a 'future'
fuck everything.
i hate the world.

and i hate you god (if you exist)
for being so fucking hard on me.
i don't know what i've ever done to deserve all this shit.

i didn't ask to be sexually harassed and raped by my cousin.
i didn't ask to be forced in sex and end up having an abortion.
i didn't ask to be bulimic my whole teenage life.
i didn't ask to have friends that would walk out on me.
i didn't ask to be a shit girlfriend who depressed her boyfriend.
i didn't ask to be so fucking useless for fucks sake.
life is so fucking fucked up!

and for the second time in my life,
i actually don't feel like living anymore.
call me a quitter, but living is so tiresome
when you take everything on yourself.
i used to be able to do that, until i met had you.
and now i don't even have you.

so why live breathe.

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