let the rain fall down..♥

when you wake up and the first thing you do is cry,

and you wonder why you woke up at all

i woke up this morning and me and tim are not alright (again)

i don't really wanna talk about it and i haven't spoken to anyone about it either..

because no one else can fix this and i tried what i could.

i apologised and told you things would be different,

but i guess sometimes, words really aren't enough.

it feels like this shouldn't be that big of a deal,

but it feels like when he points out what the problem(s) is,

he brings up a whole load of other stuff and then he's like,

"i don't even care about that, i care about.."

and it's like, why did you bring it up then?

i'm not in the mood for anything.

i've been crying and biting my lip to stop crying all day.

i can't even be bothered to dye my hair.

shiok wants to talk to me about the karaoke,

sounds like it's gonna be about sean or something.

or she can't make it or whatever.

maybe he's right.

maybe we need to start asking,

are we really worth it?

♥

goodbyee dublin! :(

tickets to dublin were a fail cos ryanair's being a dxck..

so i thought i'd cheer myself up during the day

by making a list of the places i would like to go to this summer! ;p

- m&m world

- tinsel town

- cadbury world

- brick lane

- notting hill

- portobello market

- green park

- brighton/southend/great yarmouth

♥

my fav youtube coupleee! ♥

a video of my favourite youtube couple!

they're soo sweet! they're actually a destined pair

i just thought i'd point out the part where they're like

"the person that you're in a relationship with

should be your best friend.."

"say we're fighting.. and i talk to my guy best friend about it.

it doesn't make sense! why are you talking to him..

when you can directly talk to your boyfriend about it and fix it?

you're not gonna fix anything if you talk to other people about it..

it's none of their business anyways,

it's no one's business but you guy's"

♥

ho zee mui♥

best friends are those who,

when you show up at their door with a dead body,

say nothing, grab a shovel and follow you♥

speaking to carmen has made me realise that

i've come to trust my boyfriend a whole lot more :)

not that i didn't trust him before, but i did have my doubts..

and now, i think i have finally reached the point of

100% trust and 100000000% loveeeee of coursee! ^^ ♥

carmen worries about kit a lot

because she's very much in love with him

and they're still in they're lovey-dovey phase

so they're still all smoochy-smoochy ;)

but i think she needs to learn to trust him

when it comes to things like making decisions..

when he does something that she doesn't like,

instead of being upset about it, i think she needs to 

take on his perspective and understand that

he's thought things through and he knows what he's doing.

like, trust him when he say's that he's alright

and that he'll come back home to you safely♥

i used to reeally worry about tim all the time♥

and i remember i'd get soo annoyed when he went out

or when he stayed out till ridiculous times ==

and even when he was making his own decisions

and sometimes, they would clash with what i wanted him to do..

but he's a fully grown man who's capable of making his own choices

and as his other half, it wouldn't be right for me

to stop him from doing what he would like to do♥

i bet you're surprised whilst reading this (even slightly!)

because as our relationship deepened and 

as we understood each other more and more,

i've matured and i've learned to look into your perspective

and others whilst balancing my own :)

it's kind of like a whole new er.. light, shall we say? hahaa ;p

because it really does open up your eyes (and mind)

when you can understand what's going through his/her's mind

and then you can avoid unnecessary disagreements etc♥

when me and carmen have our rants and stuff ;p

i realise i don't actually have that many things to rant about now lols

like, i used to have PAGES AND PAGES of things to say!

but now i can comfort her and reassure her

because i've been through those stages before (:

it makes me really happy knowing i can help someonee~

especially if she's my ho zee mui♥

♥

selfishness is harmful♥

see you had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heart
never really had luck, couldn't never figure out
how to love♥

i didn't really know how to start this blog post,

but i felt like i needed to say it, so here goes..

after speaking to my boyfriend about us

and why we were talking with such harsh tones,

i began to understand a lot of things.

although i knew that he'd changed

so that we'd have a smoother relationship,

but i never really took a moment to think

about how he'd changed and why..

(other than the obvious reasons of avoiding arguments)

sometimes, i even got angry when i felt like

he wasn't making any effort and i was trying too hard

when actually, he's been the one putting in effort 24/7

whilst i've stayed pushy and selfish..

it made me feel horrible when i realised

that he'd sacrificed a lot more for our relationship,

i felt like such a terrible girlfriend ><

i didn't even know what to say or how to face you, i'm sorry♥

i know you've been holding in your thoughts

and just agreeing with me so that we don't argue

but it shouldn't be like that..

you should be able to speak your thoughts

with the person you love♥

i'm sorry you couldn't, i feel so so so terrible.. >

please forgive me..

and if you can, tell me what's going on through your head,

open up to me, we can work things out♥

♥

需要。。。♥

我不知道為什麼，
但是最近我們的關係都不是太好。
可能因為我很累所以你的心情都不好。。
但是當你跟我說話，我會開始得害怕。
因為你給我的感覺是你很生氣，
所以我不知道如何回答你，
我只會對你發脾，氣然後偷偷哭。


大個女不會哭。
但是對了你，我只是一個小女孩。
我最恨是我自己這麼容易哭，
這麼容易發脾氣。


可能因為我要你給我個安全的感覺。
我要你關心我多過我關心你。
我要你需要我多過我需要你。
我要你照顧我。


其實嘉文都是很生氣。
因為她今晚有表現，但是阿杰離開了她
他去看他的朋友和阿添一起！
男人永遠不會改變。


你想成為第一人在他的世界，不可能！
非常生氣哦！！

that boy♥

♥

some funny quotes lols♥

♥

tinseltown pleeeeease♥

when a man opens the door of his car for his wife,

you can be sure of one thing:

either the car is new or the wife is♥

even with all this stuff happening this summer

i still have a list of things i wanna do lols ;p liiike..

i wanna go to tinseltown!

i wanna have a water fight lols xD

and a picnic in the park somewhere :)

and possibly go away for the weekend..
and go to great yarmouth with tim and my friends!

oh, i so wish we were going to paris!

i just realised how broke i am gonna be haha

well at least i'm having fun before results day! T___T

oooh~ parissss.. wait for me~!

♥

this summer.. ♥

if you're not willing to sound stupid

you're not worthy of falling in love♥

okay so this summer i'm doing quite a lot of things :)

well.. a lot more things than i usually do in a summer haha

so today, i went to london's m&m world!

and that was one of the things i really wanted to do~

21/07/2011 - london to celebrate tim's birthdayy :)

22/07/2011 - back to norfolk for karman's birthday!

25/07/2011 - cadbury world with familyy..
26/07/2011 - theory test T^T

28/07/2011 - my 18th birthdayyy! woop wooop! ♥

29/07/2011 - mine and tim's brithdayy party! 

01/08/2011 - london for a haircuttt♥

02/08/2011 - thorpe park!
08/08/2011 - day trip to calais hahaaa♥
15/08/2011 - day trip to dublin..

18/08/2011 - results day! T____T

27/08/2011 - martin's parent's anniversary in sheffield ^^

so that's prettyyy much my summer planned so far lols

ISN'T IT ALL SO EXCITINGGGG?! teheheheeee ^^

well even if it isn't exciting for you, it definitely is for meeee!


i wish i had a mini diary this year like last year..
now why didn't i get one?! o______o

♥

m&m world! ♥

if love is blind

why is lingerie so popular? ♥

joey and chantel skipped school today

so we went to laandaaaan(;

we got there pretty late because of traffic!

and we were all hot and frustrated! ><

joey went with mum and dad to wing yip

and chantel came with me and tim :)

met tim at marylebone station

and we bumped into chi mei lols!

took a 453 but it stopped at great portland st ==

so we walked a bit and decided to bike it LOL!

tim dropped the card i made him and i ran over it *doh!* ==

and lets just say chantel's legs were literally shaking hahaa ;p

went to m&m world and omg! there's like 4 floors!

took loads of piccies! but i'm not gonna upload them all on here

cos it'll take ages considering they're like 14megapixels each! ><

didn't get anything though cos it was soo expensive! :/
although me and chantel did pay a £1 to imprint our 1p coins.. lols ;p

chantel left me and tim to go to the photobooth

whilst she went to the cake shop and karman joined her after..

we got a skewer of spicy squid haha it's like in hk!

i wish we'd done that last year *sigh*..

and then we went to meet everyone at wan chai corner

but chantel and karman went to take photobooth piccies :)

mum and dad almost got into a fight with two hak gwais!

and joey got really scared T_____T

ate at wan chai corner and apparently we got 10% off ;)

tim was being all.. weird because he was tired :(

and it was kind of disappointing cos i had high hopes for today..

but it just felt like we were falling in and out >< iunnoo~

went to buy some stuff..

and dad found some bubble tea for £1.50

and mum was moaning about it ==

stayed at tim's for a bit but he went out to collect his car..

and KARMAN DROPPED MY PHONE AAAARGHHH! ><

came home and mum was in a foul mood haha

cos she spilt the bubble tea even though it wasn't open!

and she was saying how we shouldn't of bought it bla bla xD

so i drank it all up just in case she started something with dad ==

i won a new black bikini on ebay! wooooo~!

i've always wanted a little black bikini teheheee ^^

i guess all girls wanna impress their special someone ;)

i gotta really work on that belly now! lols ;p

anywayy, here's a sneak peek of our day!

i'm not really a fan of m&ms but i have to admit..

it was prettyyy cool ;p

♥

happy eighteen months♥

the difference between "like" "love" and "in love"

is the same as the difference between 

"for now" "for a while" and "forever" ♥

..zeyao came across this quote..
and she said it reminded her of me and you♥


we have been through a silly amount of ups and downs

and there have been moments where i thought

that there were definitely more downs than ups..

but every time, we pulled through♥

and it makes me so happy knowing that we did..

thank you for taking care of me these past eighteen months.

i know that i'm not the easiest person to handle

and i know that it takes a lot of patience to be with me

so i am really really really grateful that you are still beside me

i think that out of this year and a half,

my favourite memories would have to be..

OUR FIRST DATE OF COURSE! ♥ ♥ ♥

when you proposed to me of course! ^^

your surprise birthdayyy(;

hong kong and malaysia♥

our super expensive photoshoot!!

our first christmas together! ♥

amanda's birthday party lols

valentines day at the zoo and london eye! ♥

our double dates with kit and carmen

going to the sushi buffet with everyone..

celebrating the end of exams in ikea lols(;

and there are soo many more memories that we will make together!

i really feel like we have become stronger as individuals and as a couple♥

like, i've learnt to be more understanding and to step inside your shoes..

(okay, not literally of course! ;p)

and you've learnt to control your emotions and express yourself at the same time

and i am really really proud of you♥

because a little goes a long way :)

i love you BB! ♥

♥

birthday wishlist! :o ♥

chantel suggested i make a birthday wishlist

like how we made christmas lists last year haha (;

they're on my wishlist and not my i-need-to-get list

because i can live without them (for now ;p)

just because this is a wishlist

it might be slightly unrealistic..

but a girl can dream! ^^

- polaroid film!!

- perfume - amor amor by cacharel or flora by gucci (;

- chanel quilted handbag! ♥ ♥ ♥

- a second ear piercing!

- a summer jacket

- summer tops/skirts/CLOTHES!

- new sandals! (snow white bit mine off T__T)

- a bikini

- chanel sunglasses

- LV purse

- louboutin beige heels

- wedges for summer

- white iphone 5

- a new car (maybe a toyota IQ? or a fiat 500..)

now for my i-need-to-get list ;p

- HAIR DYE!

- birthday outfit!

- birthday presents! omgg!

- A NEW FLUFFY PILLOW PLEASE

- roll-on concealor

and the list goes on ;p

cos i'm a girrrl - and girls have needs that need to be met! (;

♥

day 30 - someone you miss♥

Day 30 -

a picture of someone you miss♥

FINALLY the last one! hahaha

my other half :(

and i don't get to see him

until his 21st birthday! ><

as excited as i am about his birthday

i still miss him lots and lots and lots :(

♥

day 29 - this makes me smileee(:

Day 29 -

a picture that can always

make you smile(: ♥

actually i think this makes me laugh more than smile haha

when i went to ikea with tim and we saw mirrors

and tim suggested we take a photo..

and then this bee came and attacked me!

hahahaa♥

day 28 - something you're afraid of :/

Day 28 -

a picture of something

you're afraid of♥

thunder! >

♥

day 27 - family memberr♥

Day 27 -

a picture of yourself

and a family member♥

♥

day 26 - something that means a lot♥

Day 26 -

a picture of something that means a lot to you♥

i swear this is the same as day 7 (most treasured item)

oh wells, i guess all the little gifts my fiance gave me(:

♥

day 25 - my day so far haha♥

Day 25 -

a picture of your day♥

i don't have one cos i haven't done anything today lols

just been bumming around on here all day!

♥

day 24 - i wish i could change..

Day 24 -

a picture of something

you wish you could change♥

to an extent.. myself?

cos i wish i wasn't so stubborn and naive..

♥

day 23 - favourite book! ♥

Day 23 -

a picture of your favourite book♥

TWILIGHT SERIES!

cos i can't remember the last book i read LOL!

although i think eclipse and breaking dawn were the besttt

♥

day 22 - i wish i was better at..

Day 22 -

a picture of something 

you wish you were better at♥

frying an egg without popping the yolk!

i can never everr get it right! grrr!

♥

day 21 - i wish i could forget..

Day 21 -

a picture of something

you wish you could forget♥

i don't have a picture of it..

but i guess the incident when i was a kid.

day 20 - somewhere you'd love to travel♥

Day 20 -

a picture of somewhere

you'd love to travel♥

venice!

paris!

♥