chuck and blair. blair and chuck.

"eight letters, three words.

say it and i'm yours."

omg i haven't blogged in like, forever!

spent the entire week revising for chemistry -

which was yesterday and it wasn't even that bad!

but, i'm not gonna jinx it 'cause knowing me,

if i found it easy, then i did bad! :(

and even if i did good, then i've just jinxed it.

auntie amy came over and stayed for the week.

couldn't stop finding time to pressurize me into chemistry.

just because you're rich you know things,

doesn't mean everyone'll listen to you.

and to be honest, even if i don't become a doctor -

yes, my mum will be disappointed but she'll get over it.

because it's my life, and in the end,

i'll find something else to please her with.

tim drove us up yesterday night.
got daddy a birthday cake and we ate it early,
'cause mum said tim was there so might as well.
which basically means he's a part of the family right?

another awkward car journey, aiyah..

i'm sorry i'm so 'sew hey' but so are you.

and you're a guy.

and if you only just realised i'm 'sew hey'

then you really don't know me well enough.

and all i did was change your wallpaper, diew.

i never know what i can and can't do with you.

and everything i do seems to always be wrong.

i'm not doing anything first anymore.

all i asked for was a call to see if you're home safe.

how hard is it for you to even do that, or even a text?

when you offer to drive me, you make it seem so troublesome.

i'd rather take the last bus home.

when i care for you, you'll get annoyed and tell me

to not worry so much all the time.

but it's you we're talking about.

no one said love hurt more than this.

everyone said you would hurt me sooner or later,

no one believed you'd be the right one for me, 

no one believed that we could last forever,

but i didn't believe them because i love you.

but now.. i really don't know what i can do.

you make me question if i really have a space in your heart.

i've done almost everything i can,

to show you how much you mean to me.

from sticking 1318 pieces of pasta for nights

and until i fell ill, to little things like writing you letters

and giving you surprise visits.

i'm not doing anything anymore.

because i think i've tried almost too hard,

to keep you by my side.

i always give and i don't ask for anything in return.

but if it's you, then i'd like for your love in return.

and if it's a daily thing, then a text will be fine.

but you don't even have time for that.

how would you have time for me..

i don't want to feel like we're falling apart.
and i don't want you asking me "why i bother with you"
and how "you're not worth my time"
because we both know i'd never break your heart.
i'm still as infatuated with you as i was three years ago.

but the little things you don't do, they hurt.

you can think i'm going overboard now,

but it's everything i haven't said.

because the tears say it all.