broken wings, help me fly again.

just not in the mood.

i thought i could help her because i know how it feels,

and i've been through all the shxt and that inets;

but by helping her, i've brought back so many things

that i don't want to remember.

it hurts.

i know i have gotten over it.

but everytime i look at her now,

and everything she said to me before.

i can't help but remember, and i try not to cry.

she said she could never bring herself to do that,

because it's not its fault, and it doesn't deserve it.

it's true. but if what happened to me, didn't happen,

and i had a choice, i still would have done the same thing.

because i have a future to think of and breaking the
hearts of my parents and family is not favourable.

my friends aren't really the friends i thought

i knew and loved and trusted.

my education is tumbling down hill quick time.

and all i can think to do is avoid it by bunking

and ignoring everything that's happening around me.

i can't bring myself to face reality.

i try and distract myself by doing some work,

but it just comes back to my head

and i try so hard not to cry about it again.

but then if someone notices and tries to hug me,

i have to try even harder to refrain from letting it out.

the weather was horrible today.

but i wanted it to rain, it felt like,

if it rained, it would wash away everything too.

i just wanted to see him.

just seeing his smile would take all my worries away.

although i don't know how to put it to words to him,

he understands and doesn't push it further.

as long as i'm in his arms, everything hurts less.

as long as i'm wrapped around him,

i feel like nothing can get to me and nothing matters.

but without him, i have to face reality alone again.

i may act and sound like a bxtch and a half on the outside,

but actually, i'm scared and i no longer have

the willpower to fight everything and everyone

who is trying to put me down.

without him by my side, i feel so fragile.

all you have to do is say what i don't want to hear

and you will have successfully broken me.

"why didn't you tell me?"

because i didn't know i could.

"don't you regret it?"

well there's no point regretting now.

"weren't you scared?"

of course i was fxcking scared.

"does your boyfriend know?"

"why didn't you leave your ex?"

"oh my god, he hit you too?"

"i'm gonna bang him up for you."

just, go away.

please.

i don't want to be how i was when he broke me.

moody and cold, closed up and insecure.

so please, don't mention my past,

because although it's the truth and it hurts,

i don't want to live in the past.

i'm trying to build a future with him now.
♥