always gonna be 100% me ;D ♥

“You can lose your virginity, lose your looks,
lose your health, but if you lose your reputation,
you have lost everything.”
i'm going to be completely honest with you.

i don't think i'm pretty, even though i think

everyone is pretty to some extent because

a person's personality can make up for looks,

but i don't think i'm pretty because

even my personality can't make up for anything.

actually, my self esteem is lower than it may seem.

i'm always cocky and confident and i act like a bxtch

because i don't want to let people know that.

because let's face it, some will just use it to their advantage.

it's your weakness, so they will.

i secretly wish that i looked like those girls on facebook

or yesstyle or whatever website i come across with hot girls.

but then i tend to think, if i looked like them, and if,

every girl out there was like me, and we all got our wish,

where would there be originality?

i don't think i'm smarter than everyone.

i always and usually got higher than most people

since nursery, and that's just because of

the environment i grew up in, get over it.

you want to be number one? so do i.

i'm competitive, so fight for it.

life's all about the survival of the fittest.

i think i can be smarter than a lot more people though.

but i'm generally a very lazy person so that's far off.

i'd rather be at my boyfriend's watching young and dangerous

or in central bumming around for hours

than studying my arse off for my exams in summer -

yes, i have recently learnt that eventually my luck runs out.

but it's okay.

at least i fell.

some people haven't yet.

and when i fall, i only fall once,

and i learn so it doesn't happen again.

i wish i could be nicer to my boyfriend and my family.

but i'm stubborn and argumentative and unfortunately,

so is my boyfriend. we argue like there's no tomorrow

literally, on a daily basis.

but there's no 'winner' out of our arguments,

and we always make up because love explains all.

even things that don't make sense.

my dad is always the calmer type

who always talks through things with me

because my mum is basically me, but 30 years older.

so when we 'talk', we both just want to get our point across

without actually listening to what the other person has to say.

but that's just my parents, and even if we argue,

i still love them, and they know that.

my sisters. i have a strange relationship with each one.

one, i argue with a lot. but we talk to each other,

and we share secrets and that because we only have each other

when it comes to the weekdays and we're in london.

when she cries, i'm still there for her.

and as her older sister, she knows i'll always fix things

and put her back onto her two pigeon feet.

another, just follows me around everywhere.

and i mean, everywhere. but that's because i know,

she looks up to me. and sometimes i might get angry at her,

but we get over it in a few hours.

the baby, she's me.

she's always tries to get mum's attention

with the rewards she gets from school and tht

and mum always just nods it off.

i was like that. and then i thought,

if she's going to be like that, whatever

because daddy's proud of me, and i'm proud of me.

i do wish i was skinnier on a daily basis.

but even your boyfriend will get bored

of hearing you complain about your flubber

and not doing anything about it,

but expecting a "honey, you look fine to me"

because in the end, it doesn''t change your view,

you don't think you look fine to yourself.

eat less, exercise. it's all good.

i wish was cute and hot at the same time.

or being close to one would be enough.

i wish i was naturally seductive.

i wish i had a flat stomach and skinnier all over.

i wish i didn't have to wear glasses or contacts.

and i wish my self esteem was higher.

but i'm not a greedy person.

so i'll stick with what i have and who i am.

because even after all this,

my boyfriend fiance still loves me

for who i am and not for who i try to be.

♥