good morning london!

I've gotta go, before I go crazy,

let go in everyway, cos anyway,

I know that you hate me.

I feel really alone.

Like I haven't got anyone to turn to.

And no one is there when I need them.

I feel really lost.

Like I've lost all sense of direction.

And no one is there to guide me.

I feel really afraid.

Like one mistake will change everything.

And no one is there with open arms.

Even with extra revision and self study, why can't I get the grades I want?

It never used to be this complicated, I used to never revise.

I never even had to have revision books.

I used to bum around during the study leaves and holidays

whilst everyone got stuck in their books;

and I'd still be an all round A* student.

But now I'm one of those people who have to spend their holidays revising,

and actually studying during their spare time, wtfux?

Looks like it's time to buck up and get the grades you really deserve!

My sister is still being a stupid loser.

No thanks to my unbelieveably childish ex-boyfriend.

Does he really think that sympathy and stirring up bull,

will actually get him anywhere?

What do you even achieve?

Well he's never had an achievement in his seventeen years,

so no surprise there.

I'm gaining weight.

wtf.

I haven't gained weight since Year Eight.

And back then, that would've been something to celebrate.

But now? I mean, come on,

I can eat like, 5 jumbo croissants and 6 chocolate mini rolls,

and 3 packets of crisps within a few hours each day

and I wouldn't gain a pound.

I don't want to be bigger than what I am.

I don't want to go back to the chubby days.

My friend is going nuts and she thinks she's fat.

Only now do I realise that a lot of girls are self-conscious,

whether or not they show it, but everyone cares about their weight -

even if they do deny it.

I was watching the BBC News the other day,

and there was a woman talking about obesity,

and how children at the age of ten are obsessed with losing weight.

Okay, that's just crazy.

But then the reporter pointed at a fifteen year old girl,

who was a dress size 14, and that was supposedly perfect.

That's even more bizarre.

What a messed up society.

I miss you.