not a lie, just refraining from telling.

telling someone the truth is always better

than protecting them with a lie.

wow, i haven't felt this relieved since.. a very long time.

and to be honest, even if, worst comes to worst,

the outcome was not what i had expected,

i don't think i would've been able to bring myself to tell you.

because i don't want you to experience the pain that i had to.

i don't want your mental energy to be drained like mine was.

and i don't want you to be as traumatised as i was too.

it would have been stupid to worry you though.

so i would definitely confirm first.

i told anastasiya today about it.

and it feels like we connect.

we both understanding the meaning of friends.

friends are like sisters.

and no matter what shxt you go through,

you go through it together.

roaa and tasnia went to epping today for biology,

and they're gone for tomorrow and thursday too i think.

i think i'm going to turn up for chemistry,

just out of respect because even though i was offered

to drop off completely so i'll have more frees,

i feel like i should turn up.

but then again, i don't see the point.

we'll see what my mind thinks tomorrow morning.

i'm so tired i can hardly open my eyes.

it's so funny how people say they don't smoke

and how 'innocent' they are because they've never lit a cigarette.

well posting photos of yourself with an unlit cigarette in your mouth

doesn't make you any more innocent than you already are.

i'm gonna focus on that summer body

i've been craving since day one of 2010.

♥