walk away♪

today, i am here and you're not.

this was your choice, not mine.

one day, i'm going to be more amazing than you think.

one day, i'll do something you wish you could do.

this afternoon, i just laid on top of my duvet,

with endless stuffed toys around me,

and i just sunk into a deep train of thought

for about an hour -

a waste of time, i know.

it's scary how the people you think will forever stand by you,

ends up being the ones that can hurt you the most.

and its even scarier, how the things you do,

and the things you say, can make such a big impact,

and half the time, we want to take those things back.

for the first time in my sixteen years,

i really regret doing something i did.

i have done so much more in the past,

but i made a mistake, that changed everything.

i've always said, i'd rather have a few friends

who are actually trustworthy and worth keeping,

than have a crowd of people who can backstab you any minute.

and actually, i was so oblivious to the fact that,

the whole time.. i was in a group like that.

but only now, do i realise how lonely i am.

i could call any of them up at 4am,

and they'd have no choice but to keep me company,

"because i said so."

and they'd have to agree with me,

because they know that i know too much about them.

even if they were fake, they were still people.

people who agreed with me, people who followed me.

they gave me a sense of control in this world,

everything went according to my plan in life.

i was popular, i was rich, everything was perfect.

but being rich and popular doesn't mean

you have the whole world in your hands after all.

it doesn't buy you true friends.

it doesn't buy your true friends back either.

we were best friends for five years.

i brought you out into the world,

don't you ever forget that.

how can you just leave..

you just can't.

when i do something i'm unsure of,

i just want someone to be on the other end of the cord,

telling me that what i did was right.

and that all the lies, and immaturity and gossip,

was worth everything i have now.

but right now, even i can't reassure myself,

so how can anyone else?

i wish i had the courage right now,

to tell show each and every one of you,

that one day, you'll regret having walked out on me.

♥